wedding 2020 | AT HOUGHTFUL WEDDING

date posted: March 17, 2020

How do you want your milestone day to be remembered? Chances are, you want the memories to be heart-lifting, beautiful, and fun. You don’t want anyone to look back and remember the frustration of being unable to find a parking space or of getting lost in a strange town.

The secret to a wedding that your guests will remember as a fun-filled celebration of love and not a logistical nightmare is to keep your guests’ needs firmly in mind at every turn during the planning process. The fanciest wedding imaginable can feel chilly if that’s not done; doing it well will make the simplest wedding fabulous. Let’s see how that would apply in the course of a weekend destination wedding. Less elaborate plans may not include every detail we’ll mention here, but the same principle applies: Put yourself in the shoes of your guests—from the adorable little nieces to the great-grandparents, from your BFFs to the newer friends who may never have met your family—and consider all the potential needs that will require some attention.

A thoughtful wedding can be any size or style; it’s about the web of love you’re weaving that surrounds everybody involved. And we all know that’s the important part.

getting ready

Take a little time, while you’re making your initial guest list, to think about each person’s needs and situation. If there’s a SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCE of any sort, make a note, so you can be sure it’s handled.

Make sure instructions and directions, be they electronic or on paper, are warm and clear. If guests are flying in, check into what their options are for ground TRANSPORTATION or arrange for someone to meet them with a welcoming sign.

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A MAP on which you’ve noted not just the venues and locations included in the wedding, but also essentials. (Drugstore? Gym? Coffee shop with Wi-Fi?) and a couple of key landmarks or points of interest.

the day before

Make sure out-of-town arrivals are warmly welcomed. A casual EVENING-BEFORE GATHERING at an easy-to-find location is a great opportunity for guests to get acquainted, making the whole weekend more fun.

GIFT BAGS OR BASKETS with a few thoughtful goodies (Mints? Chocolates? A special local souvenir?) and a paper copy of the wedding itinerary with a map on the reverse are a lovely touch.

the day of

Make sure everyone understands what the arrangements are for PARKING at the ceremony and reception.

If any guest has a special challenge or need of some sort, delegate somebody who can fill the role of CONCIERGE and check in periodically to make sure all’s well.

Inviting all ages? Include them in the gift bags, too. Going to a wedding as a kid feels like a big grownup deal, and a warm welcome will inspire good behavior. Consider A KID’S AREA at the reception, within sight of the festivities but set up so that kids can be kids. You could even pay a teen friend to host and supervise.

Your appointed concierge (who’s deserving of some sort of special thank-you treat after you’re back from the honeymoon) can also KEEP AN EYE OUT for glitches that can be fixed on the fly. Are there people being deafened by the music? Is elderly Aunt Edna shivering from the air conditioning vent? Does somebody need emergency stain remover?

Depending on the timing of your festivities, out-of-town guests may have some morning or evening hours to themselves. It’s good to make sure they have a couple of IDEAS AND OPTIONS, such as a nearby park or museum to stroll through.

Make sure your MENU OPTIONS cover snackers and feasters alike, whether they’re vegan or gluten-free. You want everyone to be able to find something they can enjoy and to leave satisfied.

WHO’S CLEANING UP? In a venue with a full professional staff, no problem; in any other situation, someone needs to think about this. Have a plan in place.

the day after

A casual BUFFET BRUNCH somewhere special-yet-comfortable makes a great send-off. Give it a fresh feel with different décor in a whole new setting, one that encourages mingling, table-hopping, reminiscences, and photo ops.

Don’t forget to make sure anyone who needs it has a RIDE, SHUTTLE, or what-have-you to the train or the airport.